The heart of a woman, wife, mother and entrepreneur wrestling with conflicting demands.  The heart of a business owner being run by their own business, vs RUNNING their own business. The heart of a woman who refuses to settle.  The heart of a woman determined to CARVE her own path, according to her own preferences, and according to her own rules.

When I wrote this letter to my family, it was in the very early morning hours. My bags were packed and my heart was heavy.

But, I was decided.

I knew that I’d already drawn my own line in the sand — even if that line had not been made “public” yet.  And I knew that I’d get back to the SIMPLICITY that made my business enjoyable and profitable in years past — but I admit, I had some uncertainty and even some insecurity around just EXACTLY how I’d make that happen.  In this moment, there was more unknown than known, but my decision has already been made.  And decision is always the first step.

Always.

My decision:  I’d steer this ship from now on… and — my business would be built around my own lifestyle preferences. Here’s the simple, heartfelt note I left on my kitchen counter that morning.

Since that day, I’ve traveled away from family only a (very) small handful of times.  And, I’ve had 11 very profitable events right here in Chesapeake, Virginia with clients traveling from as far away as California, Canada, New York, Kentucky, Illinois, Indiana, Texas, Massachusetts, and more…  And one charity event, which I was very happy to host.

To get here, I had to let go of what WAS and LEAP towards what I really wanted. This wasn’t easy for me — and if  you’ve built a “success” you don’t like, it won’t be easy for you either. Would you be willing to — below — EITHER write your own heartfelt letter of decision, or share a story of a time when you deliberately walked away from one thing to pursue a more deliberate business for yourself?

And how can I help you DECIDE and SUCCEED in this?

We also have our freedom… to take off for the day, to work outside with the sun on our face or to spend the day on the beach and work at night. BECAUSE of this freedom, I’m what I refer to as woefully unemployable.

In many ways, our chosen endeavors as business owners are enviable.

But not in every way.

I know that my success is intimately entangled with my willingness to be REAL with you… not to candy coat my own struggles, failures or near misses in an ego-driven effort to “stand at the helm” as a perfect example. And, not to gloss over yours, if shining a light on what is WRONG will point you in the direction you want to go.

My clients and, dare I say, “fans”  TRUST me to be honest with them.   It is in this spirit that I write today’s post and IMPLORE you to join me. Not because I’ve ever lied to you.  I haven’t.  But because I want to be MORE real. I pray my own “trade off” examples below encourage  and empower you.  And I would love for you to post your own “trade offs” to encourage and empower others.

This isn’t a “b*tch fest” or pity party… I’m proud of where I am and love the life I’ve created — even when it gets tough.  Instead this thread is designed to be a simple  acknowledgement and reminder that ALL OF US make choices each and every day.

My goal — for you and for me —  is always to make them deliberately. Life and Business are full of trade-offs, like these:

1. Years ago, I promised that I’d never color my own hair again. (I went too many years not being able to afford pricey trips to the salon.) This morning, one day out from an event, I colored my own roots.  With Clairol dark blonde in a box bought from a local Target store. Because, NOW, while I have the money…. I ran out of time. =) Fortunately, it turned out pretty well.  Trade-off. 
2. Speaking of my hair…. I had to color it because of the abundance of GREYS shining through.  I’m bolder as well as more confident, experienced and knowledgable than I was in my early 20′s.  But I have forehead wrinkles and more greys. Trade-off.
3. I work harder today than I ever did working for someone else.  But, I get to work on my own terms, and determine my own pay. Trade-off.
4. My kids now go to the bathroom, take baths, brush their teeth, tie their shoes, get dressed and more by themselves. But, now… we’ve got “boyfriend” issues, “friends” who are sometimes hurtful, insane projects to create, and about 10 practices a week for various kids in various sports. All of which my kids need my help with.  Trade-off.
5. My mind is heavier with longer to do lists and worries that never occurred to me when I was “younger” — working a regular “j-o-b” and without kids.  But, my heart is also “heavier” — full of a love and passion for home and work that never existed before. Trade-off.
6. To create consistent and leveraged income (through groups, membership gyms, etc.) I had to give up some of my “freedom” schedule-wise. Trade-off.
7. To play BIG, I had to leave the comfort and surety of what was comfortable for me. I had to make tough decisions, leave behind things I was proud of creating, say no to people that were disappointed in my decision to say NO, and more. But, what I got in return was a business that continues to inspire and amaze me and provide –well — for my family. Trade-off.
8. To effectively manage all that I have going on in my life, I had to learn to ask for and accept help.  This comes with a deliberate release of control… =) a teensy bit difficult for some of us. lol.  Trade-off.

Here’s the key: REALIZING that much of life and business is a trade-off… and making these trades with full knowledge and acceptance. The truth is, GLAMOUR magazine was wrong.  We can’t have it ALL at the same time. We can have  A LOT at the same time.  We can have / create EXACTLY what we WANT.  But, life — like business — is full of trade-offs.

I’d love it if you’d share one or a few of your own below! Thanks for keeping it real with me! I’m honored to lead this community of business owners intent on achieving MORE … through choice, through effort, and through a dogged determination to succeed! Honored. And, of course, humbled.

Happy Hump Day!

My new book is just for you. Here’s more:

This practical Field Guide To Profit provides straight talk on packaging, pricing, promoting and selling your services — far beyond the 1 to 1 coaching services that keeps so many of our colleagues tied to the phone and making far less than they want.

This book does not focus on issues of social good or grandiose ideas. I’m leaving out academic theory that’s largely untested and including only strategies that work today. It’s a step-by-step manual with a singular focus: helping you carve more cash out of your coaching practice.

It’s as crass as that. We’re going an inch wide and a mile deep. Because that’s where the gold is.

So if PROFIT is what you’re after (the CHA-CHING rather than the ATT-A-GIRL/ BOY), you’ve come to the right place.

Let’s get started. There’s much to be done.

Book coming soon!!!

My book tour will begin in June 2103. If your coaching chapter or speaker association would like to have me come and speak, don’t hesitate to reach out to our Outreach Director, Kerry Hastings at kerry(@) womenwhowow.com.

What are the three things that changed / moved  your business?

 First of all… Thank you Carole DeLaOsa for the question.  The reason I’m asking EVERYONE to answer it for themselves is because there’s strategy in this… When we reflect on WHAT has had the MOST (top three) IMPACT on our business, we’re uncovering gems that we can dust off and use again and again.  When you post below, we can all learn from each other!

Here’s my TOP THREE business changers:

1) I decided that my original goal in business was holding me back… and upped my intention.

For so long,  my business was designed to create income for my household.  More specifically, my “job” with my business was to “make ends meet” since I’d given up my full time income to raise these kids of mine! =) A couple years later I found myself wondering… WHY AM I NEVER ABLE TO MOVE BEYOND “MAKING ENDS MEET?”  lol… Well, because that’s all I EVER intended to do.  THAT was my goal.  So, one day I declared that it wasn’t enough.  I decided that I wanted MORE from my business and that I wanted to take this “gig” as far as I could.  THIS changed ME and the energy I brought to my business.  And my business hasn’t been the same.

What goals have you set for your business? Do they still FIT?

2) I committed to a coach and mastermind.

I hired Steve Chandler to work with me through his VERY FIRST Coaching Prosperity school. He challenged me to be bold and simple. He — and the rest of the “Phoenix Nine” — kept me accountable.  All of the falsehoods I believed about business were obliterated.  And my business changed for the better… in the MOST MEASURABLE of terms: Cash and Control (of my time and income.)

Who is leading YOU? Who holds you accountable?

3) I firmed up my own boundaries.

More important than a “to do” list, in my opinion,  is a NOT TO DO list. I brought my boundaries in, and made them stronger. There are many things I WON’T do for business. Opportunities I will ALWAYS say NO to.  And Rules / Systems I won’t break. Having a prescribed way of “doing business” has helped me leverage my time for maximum income, make decisions with ease, and move through obstacles more quickly. I agonize less and move forward more.

What’s on YOUR not to do list?

Can’t wait to hear the three things that have changed and shaped your business… =) Comments below!