“Struggling marriage.” Wait — I think that’s redundant. =) Is it me, or do all marriages struggle? Many times I’ve told my kids that Chris and I argue because — you know — we’re TWO (very) different people and we’re COMMITTED to ONE marriage.
Before anyone’s mind goes awry, my marriage is “good.” My Mister loves me, and I him. We don’t cheat or beat on each other. =) Nor have we ever. We have a solid foundation.
But my marriage could be, should be AMAZING. It could be SO MUCH MORE.
And therein lies the rub… the struggle. It has — WE HAVE — more potential as a couple than we’re realizing. I have zero desire for a “good enough” marriage. THAT was simply never the plan. I want ALL that God has in store for us. And, to be completely honest with myself and with you, right now we’re just at “good enough.”
Quick caveat: I detest “good enough” — in business and in marriage. I abhor “luke warm” in every area of my life. I want hot or cold. I want failure OR success. That lukewarm middle ground is scary because it can get too comfortable. This comfort zone of “good enough” is typically marked by inaction, a lack of growth, and a lack of movement. It’s too easy of a place to go, and too hard of a place to leave. Well, that’s MY perspective.
Of course, EVERY MARRIAGE IS DIFFERENT.
But in business “luke warm, good enough” is characterized by barely making ends meet, repetitive feast or famine cycles, just getting by and never truly creating a business or income that surprises and humbles you. If this is you, keep reading.
Back to my marriage. =) My Mister DOESN’T detest good enough. He quite likes his well- and deliberately- developed zones of comfort. In this way, he keeps us grounded. And so, me pestering him with “Let’s grow our marriage for fun” conversations tend to result in a slightly tilted head, glazed eyes and (his) internal dialogue of “OMG! Is she seriously doing this again?” lol… (In my defense, I NEVER pretended NOT to be a nightmare. He sort of knew this going in!)
All jokes aside, today I met with a friend who might as well be married to Chris. Her husband and mine are very very similar. As are she and I. In a vulnerable conversation about our marriages, I had a lightbulb moment:
I’ll do for my marriage what I did for my business when IT was lukewarm, good enough, but not NEARLY where it could be.
In this spirit — and to honor the renewed excitement for my marriage and my always unparalleled passion for my Mister — I offer you the following 4 steps to get YOUR business (or your marriage or whatever) into AMAZING territory, and out of the swampland of “good enough:”
Focus ONLY on what YOU can do…. no one else.
If only we could change everyone else, right? If only we could dictate the economic climate, our geographical location, etc. BUT, we CAN control ourselves. Remember my motto? There’s always something that can be done. BY YOU. TODAY. So, do yourself a favor… focus on changing YOU. Focus on what YOU can be doing differently. Maybe everything else will fall in line. Maybe not. BUT, either way, if YOU are doing something differently, something will change. AND, when you’re stuck in the swampland of “good enough,” change is not only good… it’s CRITICAL.
Get some accountability partners and create a specific challenge
Our bodies, our minds, our eco-system… EVERYTHING prefers and protects homeostasis. If you’re up to something GREAT, pursuing something AMAZING, you’ll need some accountability partners to cheer you on, hold your feet to the fire and call you out on your B.S. from time to time. Identify these partners, and then create a specific, time-limited challenge. Tell them what you are up to, for how long and how they can support you.
Pray daily, specifically.
“Spirituality” seems okay / safe in the business realm, while Christianity or “faith” seems a bit dicey. A sign of the times, I guess. But, I’m a praying woman. I pray to a God who knows me by name. I pray over my business. AND YOURS. I pray for my clients. I pray for my marriage. Some of you will “think good thoughts” or “send vibes” or something different. But, there’s a FAITH / spirituality component to ALL of success. Grab hold of yours .
FIND a mentor.
Business is tough. Marriage is tough. Health challenges are tough. LIFE can be tough. Don’t go it alone, reinventing the wheel and ONLY learning from your own mistakes. GET A MENTOR. This will dramatically shorten your learning curve and speed up your success!
TMI? Let me know.